Marius is pretty observant, and he has started to notice people smoking and cigarette butts left on the ground. He is only four, but I have already started talking to him about how smoking is bad for you.
My kids are at that age that they just say anything aloud. They don’t realize that it isn’t polite to judge people they don’t know or point out their flaws. Marius saw someone smoking the other day and told me, “Look Mommy, that girl is blowing smoke. That’s naughty,” within earshot of the smoker. Oops. When Marius says “blowing smoking” he means smoking. That must be how he sees it… someone is blowing smoke out of their mouth.
Yesterday, he told me, “Mommy, Daddy’s friends are blowing smoke.” I racked my brain trying to think of anyone Olly knows that smokes. I couldn’t think of anyone we know that would have been smoking around Marius. I started to pry a bit, and Marius told me, “You know, in the picture.” I realized he was talking about a picture Olly took years ago, before he even met me. He was still living in England at the time, but was visiting Oregon for a wedding. He had been reunited with a bunch of school buddies, and they were all dressed up for the wedding. They had some fun reenacting a scene from the Reservior Dogs movie for a photo. If you have ever seen the movie (very violent!) you would know the scene I am talking about, where they are all walking along in their suits, in the middle of the street, smoking cigarettes. It’s actually a pretty clever black and white photo that Olly has framed in his office.
I know this isn't a great shot, but I couldn't be bothered to take it out of the frame to scan it. So I took a picture of it, instead!
The funny thing is that most of the guys in the photo weren’t actually smokers, but just put a cigarette in their mouth to pose for the photo. So I explained to Marius that they are just pretending and that the photo was taken a long time ago, and that Daddy doesn’t “blow smoke” anymore. (He gave that bad habit up a long time ago.) Marius then told me, “Yea, I used to blow smoke a long time ago, but I don’t anymore.” Funny kid.
This is the start of one of those difficult conversations that we will be having for years to come. Do you withhold the truth about things you did in the past from your kids, or do you give them the chance to learn from your mistakes? I don’t know… Still pondering that one.
2 responses so far ↓
Mrs. Dunbar // July 12, 2009 at 10:34 pm |
Scott and I have decided to be pretty honest with the boys about things we did in the past. Kind of try and let them learn by our mistakes, who knows, hopefully it won’t blow up in our faces.
That’s a great picture by the way.
calypsonorth // July 14, 2009 at 11:48 am |
I was waiting with my kids and our neighbor kids outside a grocery store for my friend. My neighbor’s four year old without hesitation tells the teens near us (who are blowin’ smoke) in Finnish, “You know it’s not healthy to smoke. You could die from that!”